But I stayed long enough, still. No worries. No worries. Yeah, long enough. Sigh.

It was kind of a busy day. After class, I had to find a box for another engagement gift order. Then, I had to go to the veterinary clinic and pick up his cats, Tiger and Putih. They had just been spayed last night. I felt sorry for them at first but then, I read about all the benefits of spaying and immediately, I feel relieved. It’s true, if they continue to ‘reproduce’, it’s not only hard for us humans, but also for them if we can’t afford to take care of little kittens

So, yes, I picked them up with the intention of delivering them back to their house but then, I found out we have to give them medicine for 5 days. And of course I can’t just leave it all up to his mum to take care of them because 1) she’s allergic to cats, 2) they are two adult cats! I think it will take more than one (unprofessional) human adult to give the pills. I have my brothers, so… yeah. I’m currently keeping them in my room for now until Sunday. Wish me luck :’|

Anyway, because of the cats, it’s kind of harder than usual to not think about him. They’re like one of the strongest reminders of him ever. I can’t believe that in 5 more days, it’ll officially be one month of him going away. AGHH. I’m trying my best to not be emotional but it’s hard. But on the bright side, it doesn’t feel like one month at all. I felt like it was just yesterday that we last went to Sunway Pyramid together. Like it was just yesterday we last had sushi at Berjaya Times Square. Like it was just yesterday he was at my house. Like it was just yesterday we met  *teary eyes* ヽ(´□｀。)ﾉ

When can I finally stop be so lovey dovey. NEVER.

But yeah. Quoting James Morrison; “Well I thought that I was doing well, but I just want to cry now.“

I am doing well. I am growing up. But you can’t really expect me to not have weak moments. Except that I keep having weak moments more frequently lately – perhaps it’s not just him (of course it’s not just him), so many other problems to think about.

Sometimes I really do feel like quitting everything. I rarely have enough motivation nowadays to get better. You know? To achieve more. To excel. I don’t know why. I know I can’t quit, I’m not stupid, but it’s just that feeling. That helpless feeling. That ‘why does it have to be me?‘ feeling. That ‘why can’t I have it easy like him/her?‘ feeling. Ya Allah, I feel so bad. I’m not supposed to feel that way. I deserve a huge fat slap right now -.-

Moving on.

I want those awesome Nike sneakers I saw a few days ago. I WANT THEM. I’m planning to buy them with what I’ve earned during Chinese New Year. Consulted my mum about it and she said I deserve to treat myself to something and well, honestly, I think so too. I’ve been working hard almost everyday during the break, so why can’t I treat myself?

Why? Let me tell you why. Because I’m no longer used to spending so much money in one go ヽ(　￣д￣;)ノ

Gah. Going out with mama tomorrow, we shall see the verdict then.

OH YES. I love January. So many public holidays! After the long Chinese New Year break, tomorrow we have Federal Day something, so, another public holiday! And on Thursdays, I do not have class, so another day off for me! Friday, just 1 class and 1 tutorial, weekend, then, another public holiday! I have class on Tuesday but oh wait! Yet another public holiday!! *chicken dance*

And OH. It’s his birthday on Friday. Back to emo mode.

Well, I guess I better stop now. I’ve no idea how to sleep with 2 cats in my room tonight (and the next 3 nights). I really need all the luck in the world.

Credits to Elmi for giving me the link for the cute smileys. Teehee.

I need a massage. A trip to the saloon. AND… those Nike shoes :’)

Bye for now.

this is EXACTLY like Ducky -.-

PS: I love you more & more every day, if it’s even possible to love someone that much. – Blair Waldorf (Gossip Girl)

HAIH.

I used to tweet, like, a lot. A lot = a lot. I think there was a time when I would tweet every 5 minutes (or less). And yes, I can bet my life that many people regretted (and maybe still do) following me. I was one of those who just had to tell every single boring bla bla detail of my life. Oh hey! I still do that but honestly, I think I do it much less nowadays, thankfully. Fine, I still tweet a lot, but not as much as I used to.

And I am horrified to see myself (what I used to be, what I still am right now, etc) in the video. Yeah, I mean, the person Maria was impersonating, the one so caught up in her phone, I know sometimes, I’m that person. And I’m really sorry. Now that I can see how annoying it actually is, I feel like throwing my phone and let it get run over by a lorry.

Besides, I have experienced it myself. Being with people who are obsessed with their phones. It hurts a lot more if you go out with just a friend and that friend is constantly texting/tweeting/Facebook-ing/talking/etc while you’re so called ‘hanging out’. I once played bowling all by myself while my friend was busy with her phone. Yeap. The whole game, all by myself, without talking to anyone. Actually, I was playing with someone. But it felt more like I was playing with a dead body.

Being an avid social networker myself, I don’t see any wrong in updating Twitter when you’re eating your favorite dessert or hanging out at your favorite place or saying angry stuff when you’re annoyed. I don’t see any wrong with checking in on Foursquare. But dude, checking in or updating 1 or 2 statuses only take 5 seconds if your internet line is fast and your ability to come up with a sentence is good but 40 seconds if it’s the opposite. I don’t see why you have to look at your phone all the time while your friend is talking to you.

And I can perfectly understand if you want to reply your friend’s tweets/comments/whatever saying something such as ‘Hey, when are you submitting your assignment?‘ but not tweets like ‘Oh, have you seen this movie!? Is it good?’. You know? Things that do not require urgent replies should not be entertained while you’re hanging out with people. Real people. People you see literally.

I feel bad though whenever I have to reply to my customers’ emails while I’m out with my friends. But I hope they can understand that I don’t reply to non-urgent stuff. But when customers need instant replies, then only I have to take the time to reply. It is kind of hard not to check your phone when you’re doing ‘online business’, even if the ‘business’ is as small as mine

So yeah, there you go. I know I, too, have annoyed, and still annoy people in several occasions. But I guess I’m trying to slowly change. Need to open my eyes that there is more to life than the internet. You may think it’s not serious but you never know when you might actually hurt people’s feelings. I need to improve my ‘putting-away-phone skills’ when I’m with my family. I know I’ve annoyed them several times, sigh. Must, change, soon.

Oh okay. All those words on just social networking stuff. Okay. . .

Moving on.

I’ve been baking almost every day now. A lot of orders all of the sudden. Almost non-stop. I’m grateful for that, of course but at the same time, I’m trying to work against time, working hard to meet all the ‘deadlines’. I enjoy making the macarons, I enjoy them with all my life. So, I consider myself very lucky to be able to make money out of something I truly enjoy.

And some may think I’m super upset about moving, but honestly, I’m not that upset. Sure, who wouldn’t miss the house they thought would be their permanent home. But if you ask me, I feel much more comfortable and secure in this new house. Hey, at least I get to have my own bathroom again! The one in my old house had gone ‘haywire’ already – don’t ask why. So, yes, really, I’m okay with moving. Don’t worry about that.

Oh. After a long time of not crying, I suddenly broke down last night from missing him. The thought of having to go through so many months without seeing him in front of me flooded my mind and I don’t know, I just lost control But it’s like he could read my mind. After not calling for a few days, he called just now and hearing him talk provided me with some kind of ‘medicine’. Just to keep me going for a while. Sigh.

This has been a long post huh? I’d like to end this post with a happy picture, a cute song and a lovey dovey quote;

“I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride”

- Pablo Neruda.

Ugh. Yucksies. Bye.

Channing Tatum………… ♥

Enough about that -.- Sorry. I just finished watching She’s The Man and ughhhh, it was really hard not to drool. He’s awesome with every girl that is in his movie. And he, can, melt, me, simply, by, talking – yeah, talking is one of the ways you melt a person but okay..

* moving on because this is getting weird *

Sometimes, it feels weird when I suddenly can’t stop eating my own macarons. I don’t even know why I eat them, I just can’t stop. I just feel like eating macarons. My own. But that weird feeling is something I can’t get rid of and I also don’t know how to stop babbling

Telekom has finally reconnected the telephone/internet line at my new house, which is something I am super grateful for. So I can finally start on my assignment, read emails properly and you know? Be normal again. What pisses me off is the fact that it took one good scolding to actually get them to start working. Waste of credit. Waste of time. Waste of energy. But okay, thanks for the internet anyway.

SO! Yeah, so last night we had a sleepover. We, as in my friends and I. It was such an awesome night. Can’t remember the last time I laughed so much (yea right.. I can but yea okay), but I was literally rolling on the floor laughing my back off! Missed them so much and I truly wish we could have sleepovers more often but what to do, we rarely have the same holidays

It’ll be our friendship’s “8th anniversary” this year. 2 more years to make it 10 years. Sigh. How time flies. The first time we met, we were still ‘babies’ -.-

So, here’s to a great friendship, here’s to the ups and downs, and here’s to hoping it’ll last for as long as we live! :’)

I miss them already! Sobs.

And I’m craving for Garrett’s popocorn popcorn even though I’m not a big fan of popcorn. I can’t blame it on PMS anymore. WHY :’|

I really want to lose weight. But I’m not sure that is going to happen anytime soon. Sigh. Why is it so hard to lose weight! WHY.

I don’t think I’m writing the things I really want to write. No. I’m not thinking straight. It’s either because I’m sleepy (slept at 3:30pm, woke up at 8am) or because I miss you.

I don’t know.

Til’ next time.

eh (?)

I mean, they cut our line pretty fast, punctual, no problem but putting it back takes ages. Which is annoying of course but okay.

Anyway, I finally have a wardrobe! So happy. Well, it’s not exactly a wardrobe, hah! But I could hang clothes and all still, and I feel like my room is a fashion show backstage thing, so I guess that’s good? We went shopping at Ikea last night and we got a dining table, 2 study tables, my “wardrobe”, my shelf-like thing, all at a super cheap price. So Ikea is helpful after all if you really learn how to search for a bargain.

I’m still unpacking. I really had no idea that there are so many things kept in my previous room. Now that I’m in a much smaller room, I no longer know how to store them :’|

What else?

Okay. I really am in my own world right now. Talking like my life is the best thing in the universe. Hm.

I guess I’m just happy at the moment. Somehow, I feel like things will work out after all. I don’t know. I just have a good feeling about everything

Hopefully my feeling’s right.

I guess that’s all for now.

Hopefully internet will come back soon :’(

I will be back soon.

Oh, and I’m finally growing up. Yeay me.

It’s awesome, I tell you. Just, simply, awesome. I went crazy for all the notebooks they have and luckily, most of the notebooks are not overpriced, so that was really a surprise for me. They’re even having a promotion which allows you to buy 3 notebooks (big ones) at the price of only RM30. BARGAIN.

Elmi and I wanted to buy those 3 for RM30 notebooks but we opted for their “campus notebooks” instead which are sold at RM45 for 2. The notebook has files attached to it as well, and the design of each notebook is so unique, I feel like crying just talking about it

And like I have mentioned several times before, I don’t mind splurging on notebooks and diaries and journals. I can easily splurge on these more than I’m willing to spend on clothes somehow. Weird..!

I even found a calendar. Yeah. I have been searching for a decent calendar and guess what? I got one at Typo for only RM3. Jealous yet? Ha-ha. Nah, yeah, I really do want a calendar. Now if only I could find a clock – the kind that you put on your table, yes, I am looking for a clock. A nice looking clock with a nice decent price.

Sigh. I so want to go back to Pavilion next week. I want those 3 for RM30 notebooks. And perhaps waste some money (which I don’t have) on things I don’t need just because it’ll give such euphoric feeling.

Here’s one picture I got from someone’s blog. Click on the photo to go to the person’s blog.

Photo from: The Childlike Empress

Ahhh, just seeing the picture makes me want to spend the night there :’)

I really, really love notebooks. I just love them. LOVE them! Anything I can write in. I love them. For last year, I had 4 notebooks just for one semester. Aweeeesome me -.-

So, yes, that’s it about Typo.

Do I have anything else to write? Nothing much really. I’m just worried I might not have internet connection for a while when I move to the other house. My mum still has not settled things with Telekom about moving and all. I have lots of assignments that I need to start working on, and I can hardly do that without internet. Sigh.

Nevermind. We’ll just hope for the best. Much smaller room. Now I’m scared. But shut up Farhanah, at least you have a home, be grateful for that.

Have a nice weekend (again). Til’ next time.

I don’t have perfect grammar and my vocabulary IS lower than my 9 year old sister. I don’t know weird extravagant words in English. And I Google silly grammar guides all the time. So, please forgive my rude tweets regarding grammatical errors which I have posted about an hour ago. It’s just that, when one is rude to you, you can’t help but to be rude as well – and yes, I know I should have been patient but I love English despite not being perfect in it, so I really, really have low tolerance level towards people who purposely don’t want to improve their English when it’s clear that the mistakes they are doing can be spotted even by, again, my 9 year old sister

Fuh. Rant about grammar is over now. We can safely move on.

I was this close to buying food coloring powder from Amazon last night but I stopped myself when I saw I’d be spending a whopping $70.99 just for that. Yeah, convert that to Ringgit Malaysia. I think I much rather just ask someone abroad to buy them for me when they come back to Malaysia. I guess for now, I will have to bear with “Malaysian coloring powder”.

But have no fear, I have plans of going to Singapore during my semester break in July. With my best girlfriend ever, with my own money, with my own effort ♥ And from Kitchen Guardian’s post, I’ve found out about some interesting stores selling baking supplies. Ahhh, even by just reading her post, I already know it would be heaven for me as well :’)

Can’t remember much about my last trip to Singapore in 2006. YEAH. Years and years since I last set foot there. All I remember is the shopping we did and me not finding even one perfect top to bring home. Sad. But we bought a lot sunglasses there for some reasons -.-

OH. But I remember the food. Oh yes. I remember the magnificent tauhu bakar – the time when I first fell in love with tauhu bakar, aha. Sigh. Can’t wait to go back there again and this time, adding Universal Studios to the list. And it’ll be my first ‘out of country’ trip with friends *motivation to work harder on my business*

Anyway, he called me for the first time from Germany this morning, at 5:49am. I am super grateful I woke up to the sound of my phone or else I would have died out of regret. I’m just sad I was still in my ‘sleeping mode’ so I can’t remember much about what I really said but it was such a relief to hear his voice after about 6 days

And as you can see, my mood has changed so much after finally hearing something from him. My Twitter picture is even the picture I took with him at the airport just before he left. Sigh. Of course, I won’t lie and say I’m not still sad. I am. And yessss, I miss him like crazy but you know? Life goes on. I’m just glad he called. That’s all

ahh, yes, slap me |:

Oh and since we’re here, why don’t you take a look at my tuxedo cat;

sheesh. arrogant cat, no?

But I swear Ducky likes to cuddle all, the, time. Silly cat, acting like a baby. But I love him to death. Sigh ♥

Okay, I guess that’s enough for now. Will be moving to our “new house” early next week. I’ve went to the house, finally, and I must say, I’m not too disappointed. A bit excited actually to start a new chapter in life. I’m used to moving anyway, so I guess I’ll adapt to this new house. Yes, the room is 10x smaller than my room right now but somehow, just somehow, I feel excited. We’ll see (:

Have a good weekend, since it’s Friday tomorrow. Toodles.

Didn’t think Bruno Mars’ Long Distance song would mean this much to me :’|

And somehow, I want to post some pictures of my birthday last month. Simply because I still can’t accept the fact that I am turning 21 this year. Whoa. The age when my mum got married. Scary -.-

Anyway…. Yeah, despite our financial situation, my mum actually saved some money to treat me lunch at Bubba Gump on my birthday. It was really nice but like I mentioned in one of my posts, I had to stand on the freaking chair and “shake my booty” – Bubba Gump’s birthday tradition. Sigh. But it was less humiliating because I managed to somewhat “shake my booty”, the guy, who apparently was celebrating his birthday as well, who sat next to us, wasn’t even moving. He looked like a stone. Poor, poor guy. Having a bunch of guys singing and asking him to “shake his booty”. Poor guy

I can’t really remember what I ordered but it had a lot of shrimps. Mum ordered Hush Pups (or whatever the name is) which is my personal favorite whenever I go to Bubba Gump. It was a really nice lunch, I was so full by the time we left.

please don't order this unless you're in a group of at least 4 people.

That’s my “birthday cake”. Alabama Mud Pie, the waiter recommended this to us and little did we know that it would be such a torture to finish everything up with only 3 of us (2 adults & 1 child). So.. yeah. But I think it’s not that worth it. It’s just a big chunk of ice cream with whipped cream and all. You can make it yourself for a much cheaper price

Whatever it is, I ♥ my mum for the treat. It was so generous of her.

Anyhoo, I found this really cool website which I’m not sharing -.-

And… I can’t wait to go to Pavilion end of this week as I’m dying to set foot in this store called Typo. I’ve read online that they sell some really cool stuff, so I’m hoping to splurge on something there. I’ve already done some online shopping therapy earlier today, so… time for some real shopping ♥

I wonder if I should splurge on a new purse. Mum told me to wait for another few months but you know? Yeah. I don’t know.

I love my Blackberry by the way, no matter how screwed up it is. But I still want the Samsung Galaxy R. And I’m really trying not to buy it with my own money. So… We’ll see.

I’m also wondering if I should splurge on an Instax. It will take about 30% of my earnings last semester break, and that’s a lot to me, so I really wonder if it’s worth it.

Anyway, I’m taking a subject called Child & Play this semester. Hoping for it to be a really good subject. Maybe I’m really destined to work with children after all? Maybe. Who knows.

Results will be out tomorrow. Something I certainly don’t look forward to. But I will talk about that some other day.

I guess for now, that’s all I have to say.

Oh, except for one more thing, whoever said chocolate cures a broken heart is a big fat liar. Sheesh.

10,000 kilometers away.

But it’ll be alright. This time, I have more faith than I have ever had before.

Though it’s going to hard, it’s going to be okay. Just like he promised.

Exactly just like he promised ♥